My Name is S, I Love My Kids, I Need a Break - Self Care for the Mom Set

    I know when I think of "self care" I picture 20 year olds Instagramming an hour long bubble bath with one of those facial masks and some music on in the background with a glass of wine.  Or maybe getting a weekly massage and pedicure.  I always think of it as something that takes lots of time and/or money.  I personally don't have it in my stay at home mom budget for a monthly massage even.  We hear other women or moms on forums or in real life saying girl treat yourself! And sometimes you can afford to, but sometimes you just can't.  It might not even be about the money, it might just be about the time.  Maybe you're a stay at home mom with limited babysitters you reserve for emergencies, or even no babysitters. I know we're lucky to have some family that is able and willing when we need someone to watch our kids.  Or maybe you're a working professional that clocks in 60+ hrs a week and maybe you have the budget, but no time without sacrificing those precious few hours you're able to squeeze out of the day for your family.  

    Let's stop seeing self care as something that has to be a major date with yourself.  I'm trying to cut myself some slack and remember that I have a lot riding on me.  Just because I don't work doesn't mean I didn't WORK today.  Instead of letting it stress me more I'm trying to use it as a gentle excuse. It's ok if I laid in bed and read a book instead of cleaning at naptime,  it's ok I did 2 loads of laundry instead of the 3 I was hoping to get done (don't worry tomorrow there will be more anyway!), it's ok we had chicken nuggets and mac and cheese for dinner (don't worry I cut up an apple to go with it, but I bet everyone would've lived if I didn't).  All those things are self care even though it's not as glamorous as Instagram would have you believe. 

    Something else I'm, trying recently is to look harder at the stuff I DID get done, not the stuff I didn't.  I bet the list is longer than you think it is. I'm always amazed when looking at the sink full of dishes that while I didn't get them washed I did managed to homeschool my oldest, run a teletherapy session with my youngest, feed them 3 meals, pick up food for the chickens, pack my husbands lunch for tomorrow, squeeze in a load of laundry (that still needs folding of course!) and make sure my middle son got some attention and a story. Your to-do list is always going to be 3 miles long, I promise it will literally never be done.  Try to enjoy those mini pleasures where you can find them.  Hide in the closet and eat a bar of chocolate alone, pack the kids in the car to go for a ride just for a change of scenery, or let everyone pick their own easy dinner tonight.  Taking those short cuts or breaks for yourself will help save your mind and body for the next thing.   You deserve it as much as you deserve the spa day I wish I could afford for all of us. 

    Now excuse me it's naptime and my heating pad and my book are calling my name.  What's your favorite self care sanity saver?

    

A Little Background

     Hi welcome to my blog! I'm all new to this, and I hope you will bear with me. My name is S, I'm a mom of 3, E, P and V. We live on a small homestead, or maybe hobby farm is a better term. I used to work, but gave up my career to raise our kids after V came along. It no longer made sense, financially and time wise for both of us to continue working. Since then I've done my best to learn hobbies that help feed us or stretch our budget just a bit further, while giving me some enjoyment at the same time. 

    T is my husband and a total MAN. He works in construction doing site work (picture bulldozers and dump trucks, basically the dream job for most little boys). He has been slowly, as money and time permits, redoing our house for the past 10 years. His major hobby is hunting (mostly deer, which again helps to feed our family!) and crabbing in the summer. 

    E is our oldest at 8. All my kids love the outdoors, but she has a special love for animals and nature. I'm certain she would live outside if I let her. She has both struggled and flourished as a result of her ADHD. She shines in noticing details and nuances most of use take for granted. However, sitting down and getting down to business is not her forte. 

    P is almost 4 and already ready to take on the world. He will never do anything before he is ready, he steadfastly refuses.  When he feels the time has come he starts something and masters skills with an ease that is nothing short of amazing to me. He's full of adventure, he loves to climb anything he can find and jump off from the highest point possible.  He does tend to end up being the stereotype of a middle child though. He is the only boy, and his sisters on either side have a very different levels of needs. While he is outstanding in his own ways a lot of him is very textbook, meaning it's easy for him to be shuffled along.

    V is my youngest at 2, though in many ways she is still a baby to us.  It's not just because she is the youngest in the family, she was also born with developmental delays. We still have no name for the constellation of symptoms she has. She's so unique it's likely the syndrome doesn't even have a name yet. She is the happiest baby we've ever met though. She's game to come along in any situation and hardly ever puts up a fuss (unless you forget the snacks!). 

    Through this blog I'm hoping to share the story of our family. I want to share the struggles and successes of living with ADHD, undiagnosed special needs, caring for our hobby farm, that poor middle child and keeping our marriage alive.  Thanks for joining me!